@@@@@Cleaned 205 another and put it in the
@@@@@Cleaned
205
another and put it in the gutter of the easel
Cleaned a third and put that in the gutter, as
wellThought about cleaning a fourth and decided
I didn't want to take the timeThat fever was on
me again, that hungerIt was as sudden and
violent as my fits of rageIf the smoke detectors
had gone off downstairs, announcing the house was
on fire, I would have paid no attentionI
stripped the cellophane from a brand-new brush,
dipped black, and began to paint
As with the picture I'd called The End of the Game,
I don't remember much about the actual creation of
Friends with BenefitsAll I know is it happened
in a violent explosion, and sunsets had nothing to
do with itIt was mostly black and blue, the
color of bruises, and when it was done, my left
arm ached from the exerciseMy hand was
splattered with paint all the way to the wrist
The finished canvas reminded me a little of those
noir paperback covers I used to see back when I
was a kid, the ones that always featured some
roundheels dame headed for hellOnly on the
paperback covers, the dame was usually blond and
twenty-twoishIn my picture, she had dark hair
206
and looked on the plus side of fortyThis dame
was my ex-wife
She was sitting on a rumpled bed, wearing nothing
but a pair of blue pantiesThe strap of a
matching bra trailed across one legHer head was
slightly bent, but there was no mistaking her
features; I had caught her BRILLIANTLY in just a
few harsh strokes of black that were almost like
Chinese ideogramsOn the slope of one breast was
the picture's only real spot of brightness: a rose
tattooI wondered when she'd gotten it, and why
Pam wearing ink seemed as unlikely to me as Pam
racing a dirt-bike at Mission Hill, but I had no
doubt whatever that it was true; it was just a
fact, like Carson Jones's Torii Hunter tee-shirt
There were also two men in the picture, both naked
One stood at the window, half-turnedHe had a
perfectly typical body for a white middle-class
man of fifty or so, one I imagined you could see
in any Gold's Gym changing room: poochy stomach,
flat little no-cheeks ass, moderate man-titsHis
face was intelligent and well-br